When you’re constantly embarrassing yourself, you can’t take yourself too seriously. I suspect more than a few fellow deaf people would agree. Just the other day I excitedly told a friend "That reminds me, you gotta check out this cute skirt I want!" and she replied "That skirt is cute, but how does it remind you of Audre Lorde?" "Oooh, oops, I heard Audrey Horne."
Mom: "I'm going to the store. Do you need new hearing-aid batteries?"
Me: "Why would I need pancake batter?"
Mom: "Never mind, that answers my question."
Me: "And this is my pal, Craig."
Greg: "Haha, actually my name's Greg; Katie J just calls me Craig."
(No, I did not 'just call him Craig,' I'd thought that was his name & no one corrected me for a whole semester, thinking I was making an unfunny joke?)
Me, butting into someone's conversation: "I want a mani/pedi!!"
Friend: "Manic pixie, dude."
Inside a very loud club, an Afrojack song begins to play
Me: "Is this song saying 'I want you to take your birth control?'"
Jenny, not paying attention to me: "Yeah!"
Me: "Oh hey that's kinda cool I guess, in a sex-positive way?"
I went home to google 'lyrics i want you to take your birth control' to no results, and concluded that the song must not be very popular
At a NAS concert
Me: "Why is he telling everyone to go to Saigon? It's not even called Saigon anymore (in a hushed whisper) is this a veiled reference to sex trafficking?"
My friend: "ZION, he's telling everyone to go to Zion together, sit down!"
Kind store owner who saw me waiting for the bus: "Would you like to come in dear? You'll get wet."
Me: "Oh no thank you, I don't smoke."
List of Shit I've Misheard should be a recurring thing, I know I'll think of many more examples later. Also, still have copies of my zine on growing up deaf/queer/otherized available for $3 (I'd say "shameless plug" but dude this is my blog, there's nothing not shameless about this)